Rethinking Dating Apps

Rethinking Dating Apps

This is not a review of dating apps. There are some great articles out there including this one by Digital Trends and this one from CNET. If these articles don’t tell you where to start, there is a whole Google Search black hole to really dig deep. No, this blog post is about how to incorporate dating apps in general into your dating strategy as a whole. 

First, dating apps can be an amazing tool. They help us think about our strengths. They encourage us to get out there into the dating game. They expose us to the wide world of interesting and weird and wonderful people that are around us and that we might never meet without them. 

There is a “but” though. You knew there would be one, right? “But” if they are your only dating tool then you are probably thinking of getting off them, or taking a break or you just don’t believe in them or they never worked for you. And that’s because they can’t be the only part of your dating strategy. 

Who do you want to meet?

Asking yourself this question is going to inform you of where you are going to go and what you are going to do. I’m not talking a twenty point list here but I am asking, do you want to meet guys or girls? Do you want to meet someone cultured or someone who has kids? Or at least is open to those? We don’t want to close ourselves off but there is no reason why we can’t put ourselves around other like minded people.

And if your list is something like this, smart, kind, and fun…I want you to be more specific. Yes, in the end, that is a great list. But to meet people, think about how you want them to be smart. As in logical and analytical or aware of the world and current events. Do they show their kindness through volunteering with animals or through being there for their friends and family? How do they define fun, is it a bowling team or is it camping? Remember, this isn’t for the dating app, it’s about how do you want to spend your free time.  

Now go out there and meet them!

So you want a person who likes the healthy lifestyle you like? Okay then, don’t go to the All Women’s Yoga class, hit up the yoga class at the rock climbing gym. Don’t hit up the Vegan Mom’s potluck, go to a Vegan cooking class with new people. 

Want someone who is into gaming and baseball? Instead of staying home to watch the game, see if anyone at work wants the cheap seats at the next game with you from work. Instead of playing another intense round of Magic or Call of Duty at home with your buddies, head to the local gaming bar and see who is there who wants a friendly game. 

It isn’t about denying your interests but it is about pursuing those interests in places where other people are located. So leave your house, leave your comfort zone and get out there! And every outing isn’t about meeting the one or finding a date. But as you build your friend circle, it’s amazing how many people have a friend or co-worker who might be just perfect for you.

Now you write your profile

Now that you know in general who you want to meet. Now that you have an active social life and are meeting people. Now it is time to pick one or two dating apps and write your profile. And even better, you’re going to have some great, real, recent photos from all those activities and games you have been enjoying lately. Topping it off, you can be honest about who you are and what you really enjoy because you are already getting validation for how cool and fun you are in your daily life.

I chose a single interesting woman out in public for the picture for this blog. I chose her very deliberately because dating isn’t about being paired up already, it’s about getting out there into the world and meeting people. The start of your dating strategy isn’t which dating app to be on. So go ahead and get started. Get out there!

If this speaks to you an you’re looking for help in California, please schedule a consult.

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