You’re too fucking old to not have relationships figured out. But lately, you’ve started to wonder if it’s just normal to feel invisible, if it’s even possible for you to have a relationship that makes you want to dance. When you show up as yourself the way the latest Buzzfeed article tells you to, all you hear is that you’re too direct, too needy, just too much. Now you just find yourself shutting down, keeping as out of the way as possible. You’re tired of feeling scared that your partner will leave or even worse, that she’ll stay and you’ll be stuck feeling this way forever.
Even your body has started to react and the idea of sex turns you off. Or you go through the motions but it is hard to even feel what is happening. The idea of just leaving and burning down this relationship so that you can breathe and just be yourself feels more and more tempting every day. You might be alone but at least it won’t all be your fault.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. You have worked too damn hard to NOT be you’re messed up parents. You’re kind. You’re smart. There isn’t a Ted Talk you haven’t listened to AND taken notes on. And yet, you find yourself in this place where you feel out of control. The only time you feel like you is when you are away from her relaxing with an edible.
Somewhere along the way, you’ve realized that unless you change, nothing will change. Worse yet, you’re scared that the idea that it is all your fault is true. I’m here to tell you, that story is what is actually keeping you from a relationship that brings you alive. Together, we will uncover what is really keeping you from being the beautiful messy boisterous self that you are inside. It turns out, Ted Talks don’t hold all the secrets. Rather, in exploring your past, we’ll discover the tools you’ll need to build a future with deeper and more fulfilling relationships. When you’re willing to risk investing in yourself, your dreams and your life start to expand. Let’s schedule a consult now.
Therapy is a place to get real and have a relationship that’s about seeing and hearing who you are, problems and pain included. This isn’t about minimizing what’s happening. It’s about moving through it so you can celebrate the opportunities.
Maybe it’s your too-demanding boss. Maybe your girlfriend doesn’t listen. But therapy gives you a place to explore and act on the idea that you can be your joyful self, no matter the circumstances.
You’re right, you can’t change the people in your life. But you can change. You can embrace who you are and what you need, and the people in your life will begin to change in relation to you. Therapy is the place to learn how to be in relationship and how to show up when the other person doesn’t change the way you want.
Biting your lip does keep the peace. That is true. But it also creates resentment, anger, frustration, and hurt. It slips out in other ways that put distance between you and the people you want to be closer to. Therapy provides space for you to share those problems and learn to build a closer relationship through sharing.
Recognizing our needs and emotions always creates a difference. Being able to state and imagine what you want and what you need in your life and in your relationships will shake things up. Let’s take this to the next level and ask what it would mean to fully show this side of yourself to your partner.
Having a full life is wonderful. But I have to wonder, are you showing up the way you want? Is it full of the people, and work, and love that you want? Do you really have the time to NOT come for therapy?